Thankful

This week, I didn’t celebrate Thanksgiving, but I do find myself thankful on a daily basis for this opportunity. I’m also glad I know myself well enough to know that trying to orchestrate Thanksgiving dinner here was going to be a lot of stress and hassle, which would outweigh the small gratification I would get from sharing and American holiday with my new friends and colleagues in Vientiane. A few years ago, I would have felt I had to prove something to myself about my ability to host a good dinner. If there’s anything American residency taught me, it’s to carefully assess the benefit / cost of such and undertaking carefully, though. :) And tonight I’ll go have a nice French meal to mark the holiday, hopefully to include Chocolate Souffle, which will be a rare treat, will probably cost less than feeding a large group, and will not require any prep time or errand running on my part.

Pre-wedding photo

Friday was mostly devoted to Ning’s (our housekeeper) daughter’s wedding. At 9 AM I got dressed up in my silk sin and satin shirt and Amy, Amy’s parents and I went to the bassi. Each table in the tent set up outside Ning’s house had a bottle of Johnny Walker on it and several large Beer Laos in preparation for lunch. Before the ceremony even began, I was pressured to have a shot of whiskey, but Amy took it for me, since I was the driver. The groom arrived in a celebratory procession, had a gold belt placed on his waist, and had his feet symbolically washed by a cute little girl. The guests were all gathered in a carpeted room with 2 giant banana leaf and marigold and string centerpieces/altars with various items important to the ceremony gathered around the bottom. (Eg: water, sticky rice, a whole chicken, another bottle of Johnny walker, etc) The bride entered from inside the house with a fabulous tall, cone-shaped hairdo and long, sparkely fake nails. The officiant called the spirits and there was some rice and marigold leaves thrown (so everyone had rice in their updo’s for the rest of the morning) and then there was a ceremony which culminated in bride and groom tying white string around each other’s wrists. Then we all lined up to tie white strings on each of their wrists, with their parents and other important people going through first. Then everyone started tying strings on each other. It is important to tie at least 3 knots, and the string is supposed to stay on until it falls off on it’s own, but after 3 days you’re allowed to cut the ends quite short to encourage the process. There is a lot of dust in Vientiane, so my string is already looking kind of grayish after only 24 hours. We did not stay for lunch because by the time the ceremony was over Amy and her mom had each had 2 shots of whiskey, and her Dad had had 4, one of which was at least a half wine glass full. We had work to do in the afternoon, so we left before the heavy drinking began. . .
(The bride and groom with the officiant. You can't see it well here, but the groom still has his Faux-hawk, despite his otherwise traditional garb.)

Ning doing her string tying

At 6:00 I went to the hair shop next to Amy’s house where I had my hair coiffed - there were braids, twists, sparkely barrettes, and curls when I as done. We then went to the hotel for the reception. In Lao, there are no wedding gifts, you just put some money in your invitation envelope, and then put it in a giant box on your way into the reception after going through the greeting line. Then you have a shot of whiskey and entered the reception area. We arrived at around 7:45 and ended up sitting at table 60/67 (10 people/table.) Each of these tables also had a bottle of Johnny Walker. After some wait, the bride and groom and their families processed in and we were served dinner. Then the bride sang a song and the bride and groom cut the cake and opened a giant bottle of champagne which they poured into a tower of glasses. Clearly, the French did a shoddy job of teaching the Lao about champagne because the groom was instructed to shake the bottle vigorously prior to attempting to remove the cork. He had trouble getting the cork out so he ended up shaking it 4-5 times before he actually managed to get it open. I was worried that someone was going loose an eye, but it must’ve been the flattest bottle of champagne ever because it didn’t even foam after all that shaking. (The whiskey was authentic, though) After this, the dancing began. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to learn the traditional Lao wedding dance, because there was a lot of new Lao line dancing happening. But Ning looked happy, and we had fun. At about 10:30 we headed out, and after 15 minutes of waiting for a tuk tuk, we had the hotel call a taxi. (Oh yeah, there is not a lot of late night transport in Vientiane, so most of the guests drove themselves home. A good reason to leave early.)

Me in my silk sin and fancy shirt at the reception.

After all that, I see why Ning has been so stressed the last month or so, and I can’t imagine how the Lao afford such giant weddings - this would have been expensive in America, and I’m sure costs are equivalent or more than America in terms of what people earn and what weddings cost. I guess it’s good that they can use all the gifts to replete the bank accounts and pay the rest of the catering bill. I liked the basi - it was relatively short and sort of personal (thought the officiant had to ask the bride and groom what their names were, so not THAT personal) but the giant reception was a bit overwhelming. I hope the bride and groom are very happy, though, and I hope Ning feels like all her stress paid off.